There are two important relationships that take part in every person’s life: relationship with one’s parents and relationship with oneself.
And if the latter is more celebratory and positive, it involves new experiences in every area of our lives, the first one is seen a little differently. Yes, our parents make up an integral part of our lives, but at times this integration only makes up the outer shell of the relationship visible to the world, leaving out the core shallow. A mother might be working at three parallel jobs to provide a good future for the child. A father who is less supportive comes back home to a tired wife. The child is left up to grandparents and his own interpretation of how a parent-to-parent and parent-to-child relations needs to be although everything a child experiences in the first year of his life will affect his character and destiny.
The soul – is a combination that takes 25% of the parent’s DNA, 25% of karma from the former life at the moment of a child’s birth, but at the same time a person is born with 50% of free will. The parent’s DNA and previous life karma bring with them three aspects with pre-determined character traits which land in the person’s physical, emotional and mental health. It is only the free will of a person which gives a chance for the person to re-program the negatives and replace them with new programs that will improve a person’s life and his journey in this reincarnation. On a physical level it gives way to healthier relationships and stronger emotional health. For a person who willingly decides to eradicate his own negativity – is a responsible path, and sometimes the path might get tedious. Eventually, the industriousness and balanced emotional state of a person – will determine his level of success. It is important to remember that until the person is stable enough to take this decision he or she need to know what it feels like to be accepted and loved.
Let us try and figure out, how one or another situation, connected to the parent-to-child relationship, shows itself in the coming life.
It turns out that if during pregnancy, the family situations surrounding the mom, always leave a mark on the character of the baby. This way, looking after a mother and a daughter, I noticed that as that mom worked until her very d-day: she continued giving and supporting her family who did not show the same care for her – and the baby girl who was born also is still learning how to say no and stand up for herself properly. It is also interesting that this baby girl was born under a star sign of Virgo which symbolize an excessive giving nature. In another case, a baby girl already born displayed negative almost hateful attitudes towards her mom, she explained to me that although she felt guilty every time she could not help herself, it was almost like a knee jerk reaction. When we started to investigate into the family pattern, we realized that during the mother’s pregnancy, starting from her husband, her own mother and the extended family everyone openly used and relied on her fully un-appreciating and disrespecting her, in addition to daily fights, arguments and so on made this girl grow up with a negative reaction towards her mom, which she could only start to release when we met through various exercises and meditation.
It is interesting to observe the lives of those children who also experience unappreciation or unacceptance from their parents get expressed in opposite ways. A situation whereby a successful business man, yet who is as well equally critical and a perfectionist has a son who from the early age showed no sign of understanding sciences and with whom he spent hours on a daily basis to do the homework, of course having limited patience the father often scolded, beat and shouted at his son calling him “stupid”. When the son grew up, he consciously wanted to have his dad’s approval yet the messages from the past kept showing up, he kept failing in every single project, losing every single business his daddy opened for him. He was subconsciously making his dad pay for all those incidents while being masked as a victim.
You can see how it becomes so easy to blame our parents for everything that we perceive wrong with us, but remember blaming another gives away our power and while handing over the responsibility to the other person may seem like an easier way to live it is limiting – chances of you realizing your full potential are far less with this mentality.
What if, you were to place yourself in your mother’s or your father’s shoes and ask – “what if this is how they were treated?”, “what if my whole life, I am living through what so and so taught me?”, and “what’s the worst that can happen if I decide to let go of such and such belief towards my parents?”. Often I use the latter in sessions which gets the other person so surprised with how fast it takes us to reach to the core of the problem and release it.
Louise Hay says “taking back your own power is one of the most loving things you can do to yourself” – and to your relationships too. As Mae West puts it: “some say you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”. The full 50% of free will is at your disposal at any time, it only takes a thought to decide how much of it you want to use in this life and how far forward do you want it to take you.