When life tells you: “change!”

None of us like to wait. Be it for a loved one, a new job, light in the end of the tunnel, or a bus at the very least. Waiting – is the most anxiety-driven, most worry-some state, connected with the unknown, unpredictable, fear of the future. Each person, at least once in their life, has been in a situation, when the past experience is gone, and the new is still not here and when it gets here no one knows.

Imagine, a person losses a job, what’s left behind are underplots, envious schemes, fights, conflicts, stress. It was a difficult, but none the less life experience, when something was wanted, there were hopes and certain actions taken towards them. And suddenly it’s all over, complete nothingness. No fights, no schemes, no hopes, no job. Colleagues, friends gradually step aside, each one materializing their own projects, running their life. A proper fitting job is unavailable, and wherever the person turns, he is given a polite decline. Some promise to help, but all this is so uncertain, stretched by time, foggy. Little by little comes emptiness and starts the most difficult part – waiting. It can last a month, a year or maybe several years.

Or another situation – a loved one leaves. And leaves forever. At first there was hope to save everything, followed by despair, hatred, suffering and suddenly it’s all over, slipped lose. Ahead of you is loneliness and uncertainty. The condition of waiting, when a person is between two periods of their life, could be very lengthy or could only last minutes. Thus, for example, a sportsman waiting for his turn to enter the arena, an actor before playing his part, a pianist before a concert performance, orator before commencement of his speech. Any person, who once was in any of these states, remembers well, that the most difficult – is not the performance itself, it’s the waiting for the performance to start. No wonder they say “waiting for death is more difficult than death itself”.  A person before going to public is left with himself. You could panic and forget all that was wanted to share with people, or you could re-group yourself, focus and mentally play the performance in your mind, orienting yourself towards a success.

Namely in these instances a person either wins a battle, or losses it. The same takes place during important waiting periods in life. How a person spends his time during such periods will be reflected in the next active period of his life. After all, life is zebra-colored; a black strip is surely followed by a white one. But the important things is – not the time when you are called for, needed and loved by all, but when you are left alone with yourself, and seemed unwanted. Thus, nobody needs a grey cocoon, until it becomes a bright, beautiful butterfly. And nevertheless without the cocoon a butterfly will not happen!

The knowledge to re-group in the right time, not become limp and give way to panic – is the most treasured quality, making up a person’s success in life. In life of a successful person, like in anyone’s life, there are periods of standstill, unimportance, stress.  But how effectively they use these periods! Let’s remember the period of exile and solitude of Pushkin. Life under surveillance in Mihailovsk, the famous Boldinsk Autumn. Even the imaginary hero of Duma, the Monte-Cristo became another person, after spending 20 years in jail. In all the differences of both of these characters what unites them is – after a period of forced isolation comes a transformation: next time see in public these two came in a completely new light.

They worked on themselves mentally, worked physically and finally just lived and did that, which was offered to them by time. Didn’t hold on to the past, but consciously or subconsciously directed their will on a successful future. They saw their own, unique, meaning in forced periods of solitude and did not waste their time un-purpose.  To see meaning in the current events, react responsibly to them, regardless of how negative they seem – is the most important step to the forth-coming success.

In all differences of all the negative situations one might face they all unite in one – you are not needed with the way you think, love, believe or act right now. Life is telling you: “change!” and if you resist; then the surrounding you emptiness will only grow bigger and bigger.

The law states: a person finds oneself in isolation only then, when he needs it. According to Jung’s Theory of Synchronicity, our being is filled with hidden meaning, thanks to which we are placed just in those situations that most precisely match our psyche. You can curse an unfair boss or a past lover, blaming them for all wrong occurrences of your presence. You can live in memories of the past, get depressed, lose interest in life and completely corner yourself.

Yet times of silence, emptiness is therefore precious, for they give you complete freedom of action.
It almost says:

                You are free from previous constrains and responsibilities, go on do something new!

But freedom is not for everyone. We are used to a strictly structured life, when our schedule is dictated to us by work, family responsibilities. Then all of this is gone and the person is left to himself. Will he have enough power, courage to structure his own life, improve himself, not leaving time to unnecessary nagging? Not blaming oneself for past mistakes, not live in the past, but prepare for the future! Only determination in the future, trust in that one-day, no matter when, all that was done will be needed, can ease off difficult periods in life and give life meaning.

Nitzsche wrote: “He, who knows why live, can withstand anything”. Another philosopher said: “Give me a point of support, and I will turn around the world”. Namely the periods of solitude and un-neediness can become your point of support, to turn around your life; you only need to learn to manage them.


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